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Vanity 6
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Back in the early 80s, the artist currently known as Prince met a woman named Denise Matthews and saw stars in her eyes. From there, he changed her name to Vanity (after they nixed Vagina), picked up two other girls and created The Hookers, who would later become Vanity 6.

When they first hit the scene, they were an instant smash, but money and other issues let to an early death to this sexy and provacative group. All went onto future success, but nothing can top what they did her, in this excellent solo debut.

Here’s my track-by-track review:

Nasty Girl

This, their biggest hit, is a masterpiece. From Vanity’s delicious vocals to the sausy lyrics to the trashy video, everything comes together to create the perfect song. The lyrics are very direct, while not being predictable like most rappers today. But the message is simple, they’re "looking for a man that’ll do it anywhere—even on the limousine floor."

Wet Dream

"She gives him all her money cos he’s the star of her—wet dream," says Vanity in this funky number. The best thing about the song is that it has very playful music to go along with the even more playful lyrics. The song could easily be in Khia territory, but it comes off very sweet, not sexy. Listening you’ll probably forget what the song is really about and find yourself singing the chorus, "You’re my little lover, number one star of my—wet dream."

Drive Me Wild

On this track, Vanity takes a break giving Susan a chance to shine. Susan comes across very young and innocent, so this song is the perfect vehicle for her. The lyrics, "I may be young but i’m a whole lot of fun" sound at home with her vocals and she seems made for this track. Foo Fighters attempted to cover the track and while they did a good job, without Susan’s vocals, the track isn’t as effective.

He’s So Dull

This is an interesting track as it’s very different from the overall style of the album. The lyrics are what we’ve come to expect from Vanity 6, packed full of innuendo, but the music sounds more like The Go-Go’s than V 6. Still, they pull it off with Brenda and Vanity sharing vocal duties. Brenda has a lot of attitude and it comes across on this track very well.

If A Girl Answers

"Tramp take a bath and puke!" After hearing Brenda shout those words, some might wonder why the group wasn’t called Brenda 6. On this pre-rap, spoken track, she takes over an already powerful tune and adds that extra punch. Also on the track is Prince as a thinly disguised woman. Most of the song has Vanity and Prince sparring which is great spawning lines such as, "Well that’s how we like ‘em, tall stiff and ready." An undeniable classic, ‘nuff said!

Make Up

Once again, Susan provides vocals for this well produced track that ultimately falls short. I don’t think Susan’s vocals are the problem, nor the lyrics, it just doesn’t work. Maybe this is a sign people shouldn’t make songs about getting made up?

Bite the Beat

I would feel cheated if I didn’t get a song about clam-licking! Here Brenda commands that special guy to "bite the beat." This track is very slick, almost trashy, but not quite. My favorite line is, "Don’t worry, you can still be dignified—it tastes like caviar."

3 x 2 = 6

At first listen, I skipped this track. I didn’t understand the title or what it was about, in other words, it was too deep for me. After a few listens, I fell in love with the song and now it’s one of my favorites. In the song, Vanity basically tells the story of herself and what she has planned for the future. I still don’t fully understand the song, but I continue to listen in hopes of finally getting it...someday. Until them I’ll know, "With a female, 3 x 2 = ^6."

 

Bonus Track: Vibrator

Vibrator was never officially released, but it’s so good, I had to include it in this review. Vanity, sick and tired of her boyfriend coming home with an empty tank of gas, gets a new love who "treats me like a queen." Yes, that’s right her vibrator. She goes onto say, "Vibrator—his patience can’t be beat. I guess you could say that you’re obsolete," that is until her new love runs out of batteries. From there, we get another hilarious visit from Prince, this time as a battery sales person.